Don't do drugs kid
by German At Heart
Summary: America goes to Egypt with Japan were the run into Iceland. Things get strange from there. AmeIce kinda sorta. Despite how strange this is, we were not high when we wrote this, only sleep deprived.


When America had asked Japan to come sightseeing in Egypt with him, he had thought it would be an easy way to get away from the constant yelling of France and England. What he did not expect was to run into the quiet, antisocial boy by the name of Iceland. But being the super-duper awesome hero he was, he invited (demanded) that Iceland join them on their tour.

"Come on bro-seph, it's going to be a butt-load of awesome!" America excitedly shouted, impulsively grabbing the smaller Icelandic boy by the arm and dragging him along.

"Do I have to go? I came so I can get away from my super loud and annoying family and you happen to have both of those traits." Iceland complained, trying and failing to get out of the overstrong American's grip.

"Duh, I'm super awesome, you should totally come with me! Besides, it's my duty as a hero, I have to keep you safe!" Alfred proclaimed. He made sure to double check his cologne, because when he bought it the advertisement was "Smell like American Freedom for twice the cost!". Sure, it cost like tons of money, but who cared? Who can resist the FREEDOM?

"What do you mean you have to keep me safe? I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Now let go of me, you stink!" With an annoyed huff, Emil stomped on Alfred's foot, and used the distraction to pull his arm out of the the steel grip and run off.

Japan watched as Iceland retreated, slightly disappointed. He shipped "AmeIce"(the kawaii couple) and was determined to get this ship to set sail on a beautiful day like today. The opportunity was too perfect to pass up so no matter what, it was going to happen. It would have been much easier had the tsundere Iceland agreed but this could be worked around. All he had to do was convince America that Iceland needing saving from his boring self and hopefully everything would sail smoothly from there.

After Iceland had run off, he eventually found himself in a sea of scattered, swarming steaming hot surfers on a tour. He didn't mind since they were nice to look at but they were obnoxious and annoying. If they stayed quiet it would be perfect. "Oh well," He thought "At least Denmark and Norway aren't here." And then all of a sudden, Denmark called. "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world~" rang out obnoxiously from Iceland's phone. With a groan and a muffled curse at his bad luck, he answered. "Hello Lamemark." He said dryly into the phone. "Hey Icecube my Norbaby is calling me to tell you to get yo flat booty back home. Right this minute, missy." And Iceland said "Lol nope go play with your lego dollhouse you weirdo. Norbaby is Normine and you should butt out bruh."

Iceland wasn't really interested in his brother that way, but it was fun to watch Denmark lose it everytime he challenged his position as Norway's boyfriend. "Okay, ummmm, no. Norbae is only Norgay for the Fabmark and you need to chill out and Norstay away from my Norbae, okay? Glad we cleared that up Icecream. But really, get your frozen butt home." Iceland rolled his eyes, "Shut up annoying Viqueen, ain't nobody got time for that." Denmark only laughed. "Aw Icy, your cold never bothered me anyway."

Iceland could only internally facepalm at the 'Frozen' reference. No matter what, Denmark could never let it go. "Whatever Olaf. Just shut up go get a warm hug from a tree that's on fire." With that, Iceland sassily hung up.

And that's when everything began to go downhill.

From the corner of Iceland's' icey eye, he saw Japan with a trombone yelling GET RECKED and then the sky began to swirl, it was a rainbow.

"ICELAND!" A voice yelled. Iceland whipped his head so fast he could swear he almost broke his neck when a strange sight appeared. Hungary, clad in a toga with a torch yelled at the top of her lungs "THE PRISSY PRUSSIAN IS HERE!" And then the people of Egypt started going insane and started a mass scream. America was nowhere to be seen at this point. Where was the so-called 'hero' when you needed him?

All the surfers started swarming, until they were almost converged into an entire group of tan and hotness and sweat. And Iceland blinked for a second, and then-

"Shut up, and DANCE WITH ME, DO THE GANGNAM STYLE!" Shouted a mysterious voice from the sky.

The sky turned black as night and lights came from nowhere, shining on top of the mass of surfers, which started to distort and turn into Pictonians, there was an obnoxious American. The Pyramids started to swerve with the beat and the other tourists started to do the Gangnam Style simultaneously in a messed up flash mob. Iceland just looked at his own two feet and lost his faith in humanity.

"LOL GET RECKED" Yelled Japan. Hungary gestured angrily and pointed with the torch to the tallest pyramid.

"When you left, I was petrified, I never thought I COULD LIVE WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE, and then when you left I was wondering how to get along, but I WAS WRONG, now I know how to get along~"

The voice could belong to no other than a Prussian. A Prussian who was currently dancing with a very handsome Italian.

AND THEN DISCO MUSIC. The moon turned into a sparkling swirl of rainbow colors as the flash mob increased its intensity. Iceland suddenly felt weightless for a moment and he could swear his skin matched his hair. From out of nowhere, a face with red eyes appeared above him, rubies that petrified Iceland's hot and cold soul. And then green snatched him, the last thing he saw in his vision before he was faced with cold hard ground.

"America….SMASH!" Yelled the green monstrosity. After that, everything went black.

"THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO DRUGS PEOPLE" Yelled Canada as the lights flickered on and off, and the countries started slowly blinking awake. They were asleep throughout the whole presentation, while America and Iceland look mortified.

"Drugs are a nono."

Stay in school kids.

Don't do drugs.


End file.
